Countdown for Anil!!!

I guess it just close to two weeks for Anil to lose his Bachelor's Degree and gain a Masters (or will he ???:)). We, at, Chennai are all excited to part of this joyous occasion. Yesterday Seshadri and Usha called us up and I could definitely feel them desparately trying to hide their excitement.. And they have reasons to be excited. I hope all the cousins will land up there and we can have a great time, taking a dig at each other's expense or exclusively at Anil and Sushma's expense. I guess only a few of us viz. Anand, Viji, Harsha, Rohini, Naveen, Teju, Karthik and their respective spouses (I was very prompted to call them "spices".. some times they are very chilly hot :)) are eligible to advise Anil on marriage. There are tons of advises that we can dish out - starting from Varapooje till return from Honeymoon will be the short term part. There are long term advises also, which I will reserve for my future blogs. Here, I want list few do's and donts. These are mine and I welcome additions, deletions, modifications etc. from the rest. As regards the "ineligible" people, you are only allowed to ask doubts. No advices from the Bacchus!!! And we will also not assure you that your doubts wil be clarified. They will clarified in time to come. (Now, now.. you think I am bullying.. please dont THINK. Infact, I AM BULLYING. As the eldest, I have taken the liberty to set the rules of the game). Enough of the rules.. Lets get down to the list (from Anil's point of view. Anil -> At your discretion, you can pass some of these advices to Sushma too... But we are not responsible for the consequences Ha Ha ha...;)) The list is in random order and not to be treated as a priortized list :)

1. Shave your beard (and if possible your moustache). Trim your moustache. Keep your armpits clean and trim any protruding nasal hair. (First impression is the best impression).

2. Make sure you dont wear a see-through Panche at anytime during the function... And if the parental and in-law forces are against you and still insist on the transparent stuff, dont, for heaven's sake, DONT wear colored underwear. It will be as bad as wearing it on top of the panche (a la Superman, Batman, etc.)..

3. Resist the tremendous urge to eat the following during the reception (infact during dinner till end of honeymoon) - Eerulli, Kadalekai, Belluli (for the Kannada challenged folks, it is Onion, Groundnusts and Garlic).

4. During the golden era (from Wedding day till Honey moon), You will be invited for several lunches and dinners!!! Kindly refrain from eating high protein especially any form of kaalu. While you may argue that you will have the advantage of moving faster from place to place using jet propulsion, it is not a very desireable sight (as well smell) during the golden period.

5. There will be Kaashi yatra during the wedding ceremony. For the uninitiated let me explain this - It is a role play between the p-i-l to be( parents-in-law) and the s-i-l (You, Mr. Anil), where you have jacked up your price and decided to head to Kaashi spurning the hand of the lady. The p-i-l are supposed to plead to you and request you to comeback. This is a very crucial period. Please, I repeat, Please dont take this seriously and try to put an air of supremacy there. Inspite of my warnings, if you decided to go ahead, be warned that your prosepective p-i-l can decide not call you back and it can jeopardize your foreseeable future. It will be similar to the No-Confidence motion that our country's governance is going through. Mind you, you cant even do horse trading here !!!! Suggestion: Quickly distract and Use techniques to hasten this part of the function, so that the risk is minimized.

6. Now, lets come to the interesting part. WARNING: This section is PG 13 and Our younger readers are advised to skip this section if they are not accopmanied by their parents.
Anyways, you must have seen movies where the following business shops are emptied and relocated in the bedroom. They are - A Sweet and Savouries Shop and a Fruit shop. While you may be tempted to binge on the visually and nasally stimulating items, kindly ensure that they are taken away from the room. Well, I know, I know.. you are going to ask me why? Well my dear brother the logic is simple.. Have you ever seen a sprinter indulge in gastromic adventures just prior to the race??? I hope I dont need to elaborate any further... NOTE: In case our younger readers are curious, I will only reserve a kick in the butt as I had asked them not to read this and if they come this far, that is all they deserve. However, on a consolatory tone, "Dont fret, my brethern, your time shall come."

So, let me cut my list to this at this point in time and I will elaborate more as and when thoughts flow. See you guys in Tumukur!!!